Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Story. Show all posts

Sep 22, 2014

My First Marriage

My Dadu (maternal grandfather) lived in Behrampur city of West Bengal and my Thakurda’ (paternal grandfather) in a village called Jitpur, some twenty odd miles away. 

From Jamshedpur, we would travel by train to Behrampur, changing at Calcutta. After spending a few days with Dadu, we would leave for Jitpur. We would take a bus for Amtola, and get off at the point on the road closest to river Jalangi. If we took the bus from Behrampur late afternoon then we reached the kheya-ghat (jetty) there, just before sunset. It was not really much of a jetty - just a few split bamboos nailed together, and laid on the almost flat riverbank, to make for a landing that just allowed one to avoid the soft and slushy riverbank.

Thakurda’ would have sent down a boat for us. This last leg of our journey by boat was the most thrilling, at least as far as I was concerned. First of all, there was the anxiety whether there would be a boat at the jetty. Getting off the bus, therefore, I would run the short distance to the jetty, and then exult upon finding the boat, tied and rocking gently over the undulating river water nibbling at its underbelly. The boat usually had one boatman to row, and another to pilot it. Rowing upstream to Jitpur, a distance of some six miles (those days distance was measured in miles), the boat would take about two hours, take or leave a quarter-hour, depending on the current. At times one of the boatmen would get off, and pull the boat by a rope, walking along the high riverbank.

As the boat set off, a reluctant electrum evening would gently descend from the heavens, smearing the tall white plumes of ‘Kaashful’ flowers on the riverbanks with passionate colours, and setting the river surface on fire. The reflection of the dying sunlight and the darkening sky in the river surface would break up into innumerable shards of different hues, gradually melting and dissolving into an unfathomable blackness. The tall riverbank would rise up and up into the silent enveloping darkness, like the sinister wall of some ancient fort. Into its million gun-holes would return formations of birds clamoring and fluttering, homing like a thousand boomerangs coming back without result.

At last, as the calm darkness descended, a velvety canopy of black sky would come up from the east, studded with a million sparkles. And to outshine their glory, a creamy moon would rise with the omniscient smile of knowing every secret that scurried to hide in the darkness. I would feel as if I was embarked upon an endless voyage in time standing still under a perpetually twinkling sky, sentinel of the scintillating water of the sluggish moat running by the unending wall of a fort abeam, changing side as the river meandered.

Eventually, I would be wrenched out of the reverie, suddenly jolted by the boat striking against the jetty at the village. And, Thakurda’ would appear like the ghost of Hamlet’s father, with a lantern in his hand raised above the eyes.

Thakurda’ had named me Nirendro, fondly pared down to Niren in his address. And, my sister was Lotika to him.

From the village’s main street a short flight of steps rose to the outer courtyard of Thakurda’s house. Across this yard was a ‘workshop’ where some artisans worked. On the left there ran an elevated verandah fronting the ‘Boithok Khana’ (Visitors’ Room), and ‘Poraar Ghor’ (Study Room). The main residence lay behind these, unconnected. The way to an inner courtyard was by an arched gateway that laboured along a kinked passage between the Study Room, the Workshop, and a staircase to go on the roof. The passage opened into the much larger longish inner yard, with a high-roofed pillar-less verandah running along its long side on the left, and a paved ground on the short side on the right. The verandah ran in front of four pairs of large rooms. You entered the outer room of each pair through a door opening on the verandah, and cut across to the inner room. The far wall of the inner room opened its windows, looking across the main street into a frighteningly dense Mango grove across the road. The outer room, with some scattered furniture, served as a sort of living room, and the inner one, as a bedroom. On each side of the entry door there were two wide and tall windows, with the windowsill about a foot above the ground. Opposite them, there was a similar pair in the wall between the two rooms. The arrangement was the same in all the four pairs.

The eldest brother of my father, my ‘Baro Jathaa’, occupied the first pair of rooms, sharing their flanks with the visitors’ room and the study room. Thakurda’ and Thakurma (grandmother), occupied the next pair. Their bedroom had a huge ancient four-poster with fluted legs, ornamental headpiece and footrest. The bed was so high that for many years my sister and I had to be lifted up on it, where with little to do as the evening progressed, we quietly dozed off.

On the right end of the inner courtyard, after the paved area, was a broad staircase leading up to a verandah with pillars and arches that gave into two very large kitchens. These kitchens were behind the Workshop, with a room in between storing Pat-kathi (sticks of dry jute plant) used for lighting the fire in the kitchen ovens. The remaining two sides of the courtyard had high walls meeting at one corner, where the toilet stood like a pariah. The courtyard had some flowering plants, and a disorderly kitchen garden. The prize went to a dwarfish but very fecund tree of Shiuli flower that stooped to drench the earth below with copious white flowers with orange stem in season. For water, there was a well in the courtyard that provided cold water in summer and somewhat lukewarm water in winter. The bathrooms were in the boundary wall opposite the verandah across the courtyard. A door next to them led out to the garden at the rear of the property. In this garden, which was L-shaped, extending the other arm around the Workshop, there were many fruit trees, a couple of massive bamboo bushes swaying menacingly, and a dark green pool where the algae had never been stirred by any intrusion, except when I pelted it with shells of dead snail to stir its placid facade into reluctant tremulous green waves.

***

Whether Thakurda’ was very fond of me or not, I do not remember. However, my arrival would bring him a feigned relief with which he would invariably offer me, sooner or later, these words, “Niren, would you marry your Thakurma, and take her away from me when you return?”

I cannot say I minded the proposal much. Thakurma was of a very serene and quiet disposition, smiling a sweet smile that summarily dismissed Thakurda’s glib talk. Her favourite was father, being the last child. While he had inherited many of Thakurma’s striking features, it was his eldest sister, my ‘Baro Pisi’ (auntie) who had inherited Thakurma’s beauty on a grand scale. In her early forties, ‘Baro Pisi’ was extremely beautiful. Her visage, aided by a large circle of vermillion on her forehead, raised a feeling of reverence. All her daughters (sadly much older than I was, save one of about my age) too were beautiful. Through my auntie, I would let my imagination wander off in search of my Thakurma’s younger days.

At the time Thakurda’ made this offer, Thakurma was surely past sixty. She had crow’s feet at the corner of her eyes, and wrinkles in her cheeks. Her complexion had turned dull golden, like an ornament put away for a long time. She was of a slight frame, but of strong bones, quite wide at her hips. She had no fat in her flesh. He face was made of fine bones. Her eyes, large, eager and mildly bulging, with iris paled by age, were set in deep sockets. Yet her fine and still black eyebrows and long shadowy eyelashes rendered a certain depth and darkness to the eyes. She did not have an aquiline nose, but the bridge was strong and prominent, over which the skin lay taut, giving her a look of strong determination. The most fetching part of her beauty, of course, resided in her lips. Like two large segments of orange with wrinkled surface, they had very sharp outline. Her lower lip, which was the heavier, drooped a little, parting the lips. They were always very dry, as if about to crack, and therefore, wanting tender care, which she seldom took. Where the lips met, they formed two moist eyelets. However, this moisture failed to irrigate the arid lips. Before she spoke, her emotion of the moment made the lower lip quiver. She had a mass of curly hair, then mostly silvery white, but with a few streaks of black. She did not comb her hair often, allowing the fine silver curls to dangle like snakes about her face.

Her beauty was fragile in a certain way, probably made so by age. I held that in extreme pride, all the time keeping it a secret. Anyway, the large house, and its gardens so overwhelmed me that most of the time I remained a prince out on his most dangerous expedition, while his bride-to-be awaited him.

Thakurma, a person of few words, dearly loved my mother, and spoke most with her, and sometimes with my sister. She had a way of taming my mercurial Thakurda’. So, his benign proposal to settle her off with me did not seem to bother her much. As such, I was quiet, and Thakurma, sensing my deep and shy embarrassment, seldom made any public display of her affection for me.

We mostly visited Jitpur in summer for the mangoes, and rarely in winter. It was an occasional year when we went there for Durga Pujo – this once is the only one as far as I can remember, but I would not bet on that. The celebrations in the village were very different from the ones in Jamshedpur. The celebrations got going from early morning until lunchtime when Bhog (rice cooked with lentil, offered to the deity) was collected and taken home to eat. The evenings were not very bright as there was no electric light, and the illumination came from Petromax lamps. Nightlife picked up after dinner in the form of the rural folk theatre that everyone went to watch. Invariably the theatre revolved around a king and his beautiful princess, who always left me cold when compared to Thakurma. Also, I often recognized in the princess some effeminate cousin brother from the village, which put paid to any larking urge to compare the  beauties involved.

This visit that I am talking of, the weather being mild and clear for the time of the year, the days were passing very well. So much so, that on the Ashtomi (eighth day of celebration), Thakurda’ conveyed that we should visit the temple in a neighboring village, and make the floral offering, Anjali. I do not recall why he decided – was it due to the presiding deity being alive to the followers’ earthly woes, or was it the fair at the place, or a chance for my Thakurda’ and father to meet people.

So, early that morning we were up and busy. Morning tea used to be made in the outer room over a Primus Stove, original Swedish, fueled with kerosene. Father lit it with spirit to heat the oil, streaming its vapour into the burner, where it soon caught fire and burned with a mesmerizing blue flame. This tea ritual started with the intoxicating smell of burning spirit; then a very subtle smell of kerosene burning up without soot; and finally ending with the aroma of brewing tea. I would sit on the sill of the low windows and savor the succession of smells, wafting to mingle with the slanted rays of the sun streaming in through the windows. But that morning there was no procession of smells, and the sunlight appeared to soon disappear odorless, as the sun climbed the sky.

Skipping tea, we took bath and got dressed up, Thakurda’, father and I using the outer room. Mother, sister and Thakurma used the inner room, mother helping Thakurma with her stiff cotton sari and ornaments.

When Thakurma emerged, stooping with slight embarrassment, I looked at her and could not turn my eyes away from a beauty unforeseen in my imagination. Mother had tied her hair in a braid, in which the strong silver curls snaked and struggled to escape. A few of the uncontrollable wispy strands remained free, radiating a maze of silver curls around her face, framing it in a scintillating halo. There was gold all over her, on her hands, on her arms, around her slender wizened neck under the prominent Adam’s apple. On her earlobes, there were ear tops. Also, she wore a nose ring, which accentuated the beauty of the lips, stooping over them like Narcissus over a stream. All that glittering gold threw a soft golden radiance over her coppery-golden skin, enhancing its own glow.

***

Leaving the house, we cut through the village to come out in the open fields. We filed along the bank of the river, in a queue as is wont in villages. Thakurda led the parade, while discussing important issues of land and property with father. Mother followed, holding sister’s hand. Then walked Thakurma, and I brought up the rear. From behind her, I watched Thakurma, her thin frame in a graceful yet humble cotton sari, cream in colour, with a brick-red border. Carrying a plate of fruits and sweets covered with a lace scarf to offer to the Goddess, she walked barefoot, daintily in tender steps, as if afraid to tread on the dew and soil her sari. Her gait bore a femininity that her body seemed to recall from her teenage, whose shy diffident sway still lingered. From time to time, she stopped and looked back at me, rendering me a chance to catch up with her blooming beauty.  In spite of the cool morning breeze, a dew of perspiration began to appear on her forehead, nose and the high cheeks. Distracted by the pastoral beauty in the morning haze, I kept falling behind. Yet, as soon as she looked back, attracted by this pinnacle of feminine beauty approaching divine apparition, I ran forward to catch up. I had then a strange vision of being in the company of the Goddess of Beauty making no claim of love and affection; allowing me to be myself, by myself; indulging me to explore the beauty of nature, to quench my primeval yet infantile thirst for beauty itself.

Reaching the village, we first offered the Anjali, and then waited for the prayers to be over. Thakurda’ and father utilized the time in catching up with whatever familiar faces they could find, while sister and I toured the fair. Finally, after a couple of hours we started for home, having eaten Prasad, and finding little else to hang around for. The sun had risen and the breeze had slackened, raising the temperature. In the lingering humidity of the just ended rainy season, we started sweating, and Thakurma’s face began to glow with a flush and sheen, their combined radiance lifting the patina of age off her face.

When we reached home, everyone heaved a sigh of relief. There was still some time before lunch. We all changed, mother helping Thakurma. When she came out in her day’s wear, she still looked as ravishing, and more so because of the radiance on her face. The flush had subtly worked on her sebaceous glands, expelling a fine film of oil on her face that shone bright like the gleaming face of the Goddess Mother. Her lips were flushed too, and had taken on a glowing rosy hue, moist now. I looked and looked at her. She saw my gaze, looked a little puzzled, and then commanded in a soft tone, “Niren, come to me!”

As I went up hesitatingly, for some unknown reason mother prompted me to touch Thakurma’s feet. I bent down, but Thakurma arrested me, and taking my cheeks in her hands she drew up my face. Slowly bending down, she kissed me on my forehead ever so lightly with her flushed, soft, moist lips, holding it for a fleeting moment. Then still looking into my eyes, she smiled, raising herself, and announced, “Niren took good care of me today”. I blushed, as my earlobes burst with rushing blood. My eyes grew moist and tear welled up. I released myself from Thakurma’s palms, and bowed down to touch her feet, a few teardrops rolling down my cheeks to fall at those white little feet framed in red Aaltaa.

When I raised my head, Thakurda’ was looking at me with serious, quizzical eyes. He allowed for a moment, and then asked me with quieting gravity, “So, tell me Niren, may I now solemnize your marriage?”


© Indroneer - Member WaaS

Nine Point Five

- Manas Kumar Ghosh -


“Listening is one of the powerful qualities of an effective leader. When we listen to people, there is an electric current that recharges us, so that we never get tired of each other.”

The Leadership program for top executives of our company was going on across the globe. The speakers, in this case two - one an Indian and the other a British - were doing an excellent job of it. It was the last day of our training program. The team leader, obviously the British, was delivering his speech.

The speaker continued “It is when people really listen to us with quite fascinated attention that the foundation of trust begins to take shape.”

I was repeatedly losing my attention. I could not forget the incident of the previous night. It was haunting me.

Again my son Koushik had ignored me. He had not answered my questions. He had just given me a blank stare, and then locked himself up in his room. His elder brother, Kamal, who had been successful in his studies and now had a great job, had also tried to help, but all our efforts had gone in vain.

Things had been different a few years back. During his school days Koushik  had shown the promise of brilliance in his studies, as well as in the extracurricular activities. All his teachers had been full of praise for him. However, during the last two years of his school, he had become less attentive to his studies. In all the parent-teacher meetings we had only heard complaints. We had been worried about his future. Luckily he had got admitted to a reputed engineering college. That had relieved us. But again he had stopped paying attention to his studies. Although he was capable of getting high grades, his scores had been pathetic. But, that was not the real issue. It was that he had almost stopped talking to us. Last night had been no exception.

“I have a question”, a Korean executive asked the speaker. “If someone does not want to open up, refuses to talk, then what do we do?”The speaker took a deep breath and said, “You have to take proactive action in such a situation”. He paused and asked “Is there a specific case that we can discuss?”

The Korean said, “We have a problem with our teenage son. He does not want to talk to us. My wife and I have spared no effort, but fruitlessly.”
- “Is there anyone else, who is facing a similar problem with their teenage son or daughter?”
A few hands went up.

-“This problem is quite common in late teenage and early youth. As Asian parents rely heavily on the family bond, they are easily disturbed. May I know what kind of effort all of you have made?”

All of them said, “We have tried talking to them, showering our affection, and showing our concern.”
- “You may have only expressed your concern about their career, is it not? Has anybody tried to find out about their interests and likings? We all try to impose our preferences and likings on others, but we make little effort to understand and acknowledge their likings. Everyone in the world expects recognition. Sometimes we do recognize, but that is too mechanical and shallow. Have you ever appreciated your children for their interests, for the small things that they like, but you do not?”

...

Bimal, the other speaker, stepped forward, but paused to hear our response.


Bimal is settled in Mumbai, but twice a year he comes down to Kolkata to visit his mother and brother. Whenever he comes, he makes sure to have a get-together with us, Madhu, Kunal and I. We keep an evening free for him. Among our close friends, Bimal is the most successful in his life, both in his career and at home. His elder son, Kamal, was brilliant as a student, and is now well-established. The younger son, Koushik, too is studying at a famous engineering college. Bimal has been elevated to a top executive position in his company. Many among us envy him. In our hearts we are no exception in this.

Last year Kunal had been to Mumbai, and stayed with Bimal. He had then come to know about Bimal’s agony over Koushik. Later, from Kunal we had learned about the errant son.

...

After today’s session, as planned, we gathered in a pub near Dalhousie to spend the evening together. While ordering our drinks, Kunal enquired about Bimal’s son, Bimal said, with a grin,”Well, the matter is resolved.” We fell over each other, to ask Bimal to tell us how he had redressed the situation.

From the college days Bimal has been a great story teller. This time no exception, he soon got us so engrossed in his stories that we did not notice when we had downed our beers, until the waiter came over to ask, “Any more beer, sir?” Madhu asked for one more round, telling him, “After that is over, do not disturb us. Just bring a third round!” Kunal wanted some finger-food. Madhu ordered for fish fries – two plates of mourala and two plates of pomfret – and some chicken kebabs. Placing the orders, Madhu said, eagerly, “Bimal, please tell us about your son.”

It made me wonder, ‘Is Madhu also facing a similar problem?’

Bimal then told us his story, or rather the story of his son, thus.
         
The Leadership Program had got over, just as it had happened many times in the past. The participants had pledged to change themselves. The Program Coordinator had rushed to everyone’s desk to take a written feedback. As it happens always, all the feedbacks had said ‘Excellent’. What with the tea-breaks with assorted cookies, five-star lunches and one cocktail evening with a dinner by candle light, how could the program be anything but ‘Excellent’? During the cocktail participants had taken down the email-address and phone number of the speaker. I knew the tiny pieces of paper would remain in the pockets of the jackets till they went to the dry-cleaners. Participants would only remember a few names like Stephen Covey, Mark Robbins, which they would use at times with their subordinates. The MD and other senior directors would imagine themselves to be attaining the calibre of Jack Welch. But eventually, everyone would forget everything, till the next leadership program.

But this time a few words haunted me. “Find out his likings, interests ... recognise them ... try to talk to him.” At times, I have asked Koushik about his interests and other extra-curricular activities. But, his answer has always been short. Whenever I have enquired about his study or career planning, he has just said, “Sob thik achhe (everything is fine)”. He has never spoken a single word more. My wife and I have become frustrated, but decided to restrain ourselves from any kind of confrontation.

One Saturday there was a one-day cricket match. I went into the living room to watch it on the TV. I found Koushik was watching an EPL football match. Generally I do not take interest in the EPL, and similarly, Koushik is bothered in the least about the Indian cricket team. I sat down on the sofa near him. Glancing at me just once, he remained engrossed in the match. I asked, “How is the game? Which teams are playing?”
Koushik briefly replied “Liverpool vs. Sunderland ... goalless, so far...”
Then he looked at me closely, and asked “Do you want to watch the cricket match?”  Usually my answer would be yes. But this time, something clicked inside. I said, “No, let us watch football.”
He looked at me, making eye contact, and asked, “Do you really mean it, or are you just kidding?”
I did not like the word kidding. But just then a voice whispered to me, “Shake off your ego. Try to be a friend of your son, even at the cost of your so called self-dignity!”
I said, “I got bored with Indian cricket. So, why not watch football for a change?”

He smiled, but kept his eyes fixed on the TV. Suddenly, he exclaimed in joy. The Liverpool team’s jersey number 7 had scored.
“Who was that?” I asked, wanting to inch closer to him.
Koushik was happy since his favourite team had eventually scored. “Suarez” he said.
“Is he British?” I asked.
-  “No, he is from Uruguay.”
- “And, that black player in jersey number 15 who gave the final pass – he must be good and experienced!”
I wanted to establish myself as a football lover. I thought this should be the best way.
Koushik said, “He is Sturridge, a young player from Britain.”
Maybe I should have stopped there. But I continued, foolishly, “Liverpool is playing well. They are sure to become the champion this time.”

Now Koushik turned to stare at me. Unhappiness was clear in his eyes. He very clearly saw my ignorance. “No, Liverpool is in the sixth position, far behind the front runners.” Not allowing me to say any more, he got up, and said, “I have other things to do. You can watch your cricket.” He left the living room, and went and locked himself up in his room.

The same old story – I was back to square one. Again, I felt directionless, and retired to my bed room.

After dinner, finishing the household chores, my wife came to bed with a smile on her face. Her happiness was obvious. “Today I am very happy. After a long time, I saw you sit for some time with Koushik, watching TV and talking.”
- “Things started well, but did not end well, especially at the finish.” Then I narrated all that had happened. She said, “You should be more careful when asking him questions. Have you not noticed that he reads so many books? Have no doubt about his knowledge!”
- “Yes, I have seen that he reads Harry Potter, Chetan Bhagat, and Amish Patel. But, how would those books help him build his career... I do not know.” I said angrily.
- “You are making a mistake again. When I clean his desk, I notice the wide variety of books on his desk.”

I wanted to argue. But again the same whispering voice stopped me, “Although teenagers behave mysteriously, at heart they may respect you, and depend upon you. So, be careful in dealing with them. Do not expose your ignorance. That may worsen the relationship.”

I decided that I should gather knowledge of EPL and other European leagues and their footballers.

Bimal took a break. The fish fries were too good. Within few minutes the plates were empty. I said, “Why don’t we order for two more plates? Madhu said, “I saw Bimal eat very little. Maybe he did not like it.” Bimal interrupted him, “Only a fool would not enjoy such a delicious item. It is just that I was too engrossed in talking.”
Madhu ordered three plates, and said, “One plate is exclusively for Bimal!”

The beer began to cast its spell on us.

Kunal said, “So, you studied football. Did you two watch Liverpool play again?” His tone was mocking.
Madhu said, “Kunal, do not rag him. You may not understand it, but the topic is really absorbing.”
Kunal tried to protest, but I stopped him.
Madhu said, “Bimal, it’s very interesting. Please continue.”
All of us looked at Bimal. Bimal resumed his story...

After that incident more than a month passed. I started watching English Premier League matches. I familiarized myself with the players of a few teams. Many times, Koushik and I sat together to watch the TV, but our conversation remained nothing more than formal. I started digging into his bookshelf, and read a few of his books. I was pleasantly surprised to note his collection. Still, I felt hesitant to initiate our final dialogue – to restore his bond with the family and to mend him to be serious about his career. But, this time I did not want to take any hurried step. So, I kept patience, waiting for the appropriate time.

It was a Saturday, when my wife overheard Koushik talking to his friend about some football match the next day afternoon, in which Koushik would play. Monsoon being in full swing in Mumbai then, she became afraid for him playing football on a slippery ground full of slush. She informed me about it. I asked her to act as if we knew nothing.

She had heard the name of the ground where the inter-college tournament was being held. Sunday morning we decided to go there and watch the match, without letting Koushik know. He left home with his kit after lunch. We too left for the ground after an hour.

If he ever caught sight of us among the spectators, he never mentioned it. His reticence once again confused us.

Although we were saddened by this, we soon began to notice some changes in him. He stopped locking himself up, or closing the door of his room. Sometimes he asked to go out with us for shopping.

I remembered again those words, “Everyone likes recognition. You need not speak it aloud, but if you are sincere, the other person will automatically understand your appreciation, which may then become the turning point.”... “Appreciation is the golden key to relationships. Appreciation can make a day, even change a life.” These great quotations haunted me. And, I said to myself, ‘I have to take a chance now. The time has come!”

It was a holiday. I made sure that I would use the golden key to unlock the silence, the misunderstanding with my son. I knocked and entered his room. I sat beside him on his bed. He was surprised, but his reception was not cold.

“Son, I have come to borrow some of your storybooks.” I started. “Could you suggest some?” He remained silent for a few moments, and then said, “I am not sure of your taste.”
“I have no particular preference; I would love to read any good one.” I told him. After a pause, I continued “In fact I have read a couple of your books from here - Naga and Two States.
“How did you find them?” he asked solemnly.
“Good! You have a good selection here, I must say.” I felt happy. What I had wanted to do, I was able to do nicely. But, I still saw no change in the emotion displayed on his face, except for a twinkle in his eyes.
“So, you like both the writings of this generation, and stories based on mythology.”
He got up, took out two books, and gave them to me.
“I think you may like these.” he continued “Palace of illusions is based on Mahabharata, but from a different angle. The other is White Tiger, which is my favourite.”
I thanked him and got up, thinking that was enough for the day.

The opportunity for the final encounter for my planned talk with him presented itself soon, automatically. One weekend afternoon I was engrossed in reading Palace of Illusions, when Koushik came in, and handed me a book. “Papa, this is the third volume of Naga, which you have not yet read.”

After a long time Koushik had entered our bedroom. Through the corner of my eyes, I saw my astonished wife standing at the door, spellbound. Koushik pulled up a chair from a corner of the room, and sat near me.

“Each one of us has a distinct identity”, I recalled my friend, a clinical psychologist, saying. “Right from our childhood till our last breath, we keep on internalising many traits, characteristics, perspectives, ideologies, values and doctrines. Our mind processes all this information in a unique way, and builds what we known as personality.”

“Papa, may I ask you something?” Koushik asked.
“Of course, yes! You may ask anything without hesitation.”
Koushik said, “Nowadays, you do not enquire about my studies. You do not even ask me about my grades. Are you so much worried about my career that you have stopped enquiring?”

I had never expected to hear those words from him. I was shocked to becoming numb. ‘So, all my efforts have become futile! The lessons we have learned are merely theoretical? Should I start disbelieving all the words of the biggies like Stephen Covey, Mark Robbins... or is my son made of the most difficult stuff?’ I thought to myself.

Although I was clueless, I gathered all the strength of my mind, and told in a soft and affectionate tone, maintaining eye contact, “Son, you are always valuable to all of us. Yesterday and today are the same, and nothing will change in future too.” I took a deep breath and continued, “Earlier, we had never made any effort to understand you, or appreciate your interests and likings. Now we realize that it had been our mistake. So, we do not want to impose anything on you. We just want to see you happy.”

I saw a smile break out on his face. He started, “I understand Papa... You wanted me to become a scientist. Maybe, you dreamed that your son would one day be part of the NASA team. But, I could not do anything about it – why, I did not even move in that direction at all!”

“The human being is like a floating iceberg”, I recalled from the leadership program once again. “Only ten percent of the human mind is visible through his behaviour. The remaining part, which comprises the preconscious and subconscious, is submerged under water. These two, which play major roles, are developed from one’s experience, understanding and environment. When one comes closer, and becomes ready to expose oneself, one can appear as a totally different person.”

I said, with an unintended stammer, “Maybe I had overdone it. I had not tried to know your mind.” Then, in a more assertive tone, I told him, “But you had talent! You could have achieved that.”

He smiled again, and said, “Papa, I know at least twenty students in my college who are as talented as me, or even more. The actual number of such boys in my college is much more. Then again, just consider how many talented students India produces every year. You will be surprised to know that very few of them want to become a scientist. They are all happy to become an engineer or a doctor. Many of them will try to pursue an MBA from a reputed management school, and then forget science forever. “

“Is it due to financial constraint, or is it because of the difficult life of a scientist?”I asked.
- “Financial constraint? No, not for everyone. Among my friends few have financial constraint. A few of them are very rich, you could say ultra-rich. In fact, I too have no financial problem. I know you and dada (elder brother) would give me all the financial support I need.” After a pause, he continued “The fact is that I, like many of my friends, wanted to become a scientist. I used to read so many books apart from the textbooks. After I met with success in the Olympiad examination, I really dreamed of becoming a scientist.”
I exclaimed, “Then, what prevented you?”
He looked at me for a few moments, and said “Our social conditions and education system together emphasise too much on the textbooks and discourage independent thinking. All of us – the parents, the students and the teachers – are too preoccupied with textbook based examination, which kills the ability to think independently, kills inquisitiveness. We appreciate it when we observe inquisitiveness in a child. But, when the same child grows up, that quality becomes a curse for him. Teachers, even parents, discourage this quality, and it makes them angry. Earlier, I used to be frustrated with this attitude of my teachers, and to some extent yours too. But then, I realised that our problem is that we are borne in India, where the textbook is the bible of the education system.”

I saw deep frustration and sadness in his eyes. He remained silent for some time, perhaps to hide his feelings, and then continued. “Papa, I tried once to achieve my dream by appearing for SAT, to go out of India for higher studies. But, you did not agree to let me go abroad because of your strong attachment to me.”

I remembered those days, and felt very sorry.

After another pause, he spoke in a low yet confidant voice. “However, now I do not want to be a scientist, or to go abroad. I do not want to be far away from you. But, please believe in me that I will get a decent job in India, and nurture my dream, for it to be fulfilled by my children.”

I did not know how to respond to that. The managers of all the training programs on leadership or top management had never taught us that. 

My son ended our discussion. “Papa, today the game is between Liverpool and Manchester United. It starts in another fifteen minutes. Let us watch it together.”

“I am going to make some pakora for you.” Turning around we found a loving mother standing nearby. My wife had put her affectionate hand on her son’s head.

Bimal paused here.

We were spellbound. I looked at him, to find teardrops in the corners of Bimal’s eyes. The waiter had appeared with the bill. Bimal reached for his wallet in the back pocket of his trouser. But, Madhu had drawn his credit card faster. He smiled, “For a change, this time let me pay the bill.”

Putting down his credit card on the bill, he said, “Bimal, thank you! You have helped me a lot by telling your story.”

It was then the time to leave. I asked Bimal, “So, what is the final result?”
- “This year my son’s CGPA has been above 9.5.” he said.

We left the restaurant, coming out to resume our routine life.

13th September 2014


© Manas K Ghosh - Member WaaS